Many readers of Port Chester Roundup Have Complained That I Have Not Kept My Promise To Insult Bernie "I Forgot To Pay Over 100 Property Tax bills" Abel Every Single Day Until He Pays His Damn Taxes.
The problem is usually when I write that post I take my laptop in to a local Port Chester Bar and have a drink as I try to come up with a new insult.
Then a bar patron usually comes up and asks what I am doing on a computer in a bar.
I then tell them about this daily column called....
Let's Insult the Westmore Newspaper Founder Everyday Until He Pays All Of His Damn Property Taxes.
Well, before you know it I have several drinkers who hate Bernie Abel and the hopelessly biased Westmore News buying me drink after drink as they give me insult after insult to heap on Bernie Fable.
Unfortunately, most of the insults for Bernie Fable can't be printed on this web site.
Well anyhow, here are the insults for Bernie "I Forgot To Pay Over 100 Property Tax Bills" Fable that can be printed.
"Bernie may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."
"Avoid all needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Bernie Abel."
"Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident?"
"Bernie has a face like a Saint - A Saint Bernard."
"When Bernie comes into a room, the mice jump on chairs."
I've seen people like Bernie before, but I had to pay admission!"
"Are your parents siblings?"
"Calling Bernie stupid would be an insult to stupid people."
"Has Bernie ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?"
"Bernie has a terribly empty feeling - in his skull?"
"Has Bernie considered suing his brains for non-support?"
One guy in the bar really cracked everyone up when he said...
"I don't think Bernie is a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?"
Well Bernie Fable, the founder of the hopelessly biased Westmore News had better pay all of his damn taxes, or we will insult him again tomorrows.
By the way you should here all the insults that were aimed at Westmore News Publisher Richard "The Rye Town Drama Queen Who Files False Police Reports" Fable....
"I hear he was born on a farm. Any more in the litter?"
"I heard the drama queen got a brain transplant and the brain rejected him!"
"I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in? "
"Listen punk I am busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?"
"Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't"
"Richie, I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in."
Please Call The Hopelessly Biased Westmore News At 939-6864 And Tell Bernie "I Forgot To Pay Over 100 Tax Bills" Fable To Cancel Your Subscription. Then tell Bernie to sit down and give his mind a rest.
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