Port Chester Overnight Parking Restricted To Combat Noise

New overnight parking restrictions are soon to take effect on North Main Street in Port Chester as a result of the infamous robbery of an unconscious man there last year, and in an effort to assuage noise and other neighborhood disturbances......

Bryan Santucci over at the controversial Facebook group known as "Making Port Chester A BITTER Place" is probably going to be upset, because he is always ranting how the Port Chester police and building departments are to hard on Main Street bars.

Bryan Santucci Im just tired of all these parking rules etc... Now im not allowed to be at a bar past 1am? Maybe every bad should close at 1am 

Bartender pour Bart Didden's degenerate alcoholic friend another drink, so he can rant about how he is going to make Port Chester a better place. Hey Bryan what do you think about Port Chester.....

Bryan Santucci

This Village is going down the Shitter faster than we all can flush our own toilets!!

Bryan Let Me Help You Out......

This Is What You Should Not Say If You Are Ever Pulled Over By The Port Chester Police Department After Leaving A Main Street Bat At Three Thirty In The Morning......

Bryan Never Answer Like This...

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. Is it true that guys become cops because they can't work at McDonald's ?
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. If you'd try the stuff I just had, you wouldn't be so damn uptight.
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Bryan....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
13. What? You need a license to drive?
14. Wow, no wonder your wife sleeps around, with your breath!
15. Is your power a penis substitute?
16. Yes, I know my driving is not 100%, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
17. Can you come back in 5 minutes? I'm in the middle of a telephone conversation.
18. Oops...I thought you were a prostitute.
19. Do I have any fruits or vegetables? I don't know. Is cocaine a fruit or vegetable?
20. A hundred dollar fine? Well, I think George Washington can change your mind.
21. I and Bart Didden's cousin Keith Morlino pay your salary!
22. Did you pull me over because of the drugs under the seat, the body in the trunk, or the burned out tail-light?
23. Whoops, that's the fake one... here ya go, this is the one.
24. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
25. Careful Officer, I am Bart Didden's drinking buddy.
26. My gun fell off my lap and got lodged on the gas pedal.
27. Hey, is that a 9mm ? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!
28. Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I'm in. I have to go to Linda Turturino public safety committee meetings?
29. You're lucky this car needs a tune-up or you'd have never caught me.
30. In on Main Street in Port Chester we drive like that all the time, what's the problem?
31. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
32. Aren't there real crooks somewhere you should be catching?
33. Well, those two other guys didn't stop for that school bus either.
34. Yes, I saw your lights on, but I thought you going to get a doughnut.
35. Just had to try out that new siren, didn't you?
36. Do you have any idea who you're talking to. I know Bart Didden cousin Keith Morlino?
37. There's no way I was going 85. I had the cruise set at 80.
38. What's wrong, Ossifer? I swear to drunk I'm not God! And really, there is no blood in my alchohol.
39. That uniform makes your ass look really big.
40. You don't happen to have any beer in your car?
41. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
42. So what if I was speeding? Don't Make me call Elizabeth Czajkowski-Rotfeld! Whatcha gonna do about it Mr. Hotshot?

Alight, just one more joke.....

A Port Chester Police Officer had just pulled over Bryan Santucci after he just left a Main Street bar just before the morning dawn. He had had run a stop sign. "May I see your driver's license and registration please."

"What's the problem, officer?"

"You just ran that stop sign back there."

"Oh come on, pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me."

"Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution."

"You gotta be kidding me!"

"It's no joke, sir."

"Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution."

"That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed come to a complete stop, and you didn't. Now if I may see your license and"

"You've got a lot of time on your hands, pal. What's the matter, all the doughnut shops closed. Don't You know who I am? I am a leading member of the "Making Port Chester A Better Place Group!!!! I was at the public safety committee meeting with Bart Didden's cousin Keith Morlino."

"Sir, I'll overlook those last comments. Let me see your license and registration immediately."

"I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down, and coming to a complete stop."

The policeman had enough. "Sir, I can do better than that." He opened the car door, dragged the rude Bryan Santucci out, and proceeded to methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick.

"Now sir, would you like for me to slow down or come to a complete stop?

Now that's "Making Port Chester A Better Place"!!!!

Via Port Chester Newswire http://portchester.dailyvoice.com/news/port-chester-overnight-parking-restricted-combat-noise